How to Build a Network That Travels With You... Without Collecting People.

As I was organizing my calendar for the week this morning, I realized that I am genuinely SO excited about how many people I get to see. There are networking meetings, calls, online communities, Sunday Content Club, and on Friday I get to speak for Wine, Women & Wealth, a community I’ve been part of for years. Some of these people will be sitting across the table from me here in Texas. Others will be hundreds or thousands of miles away on a screen. Some I’ve known for years, some are newer connections, and there are probably a few people I haven’t even met yet.

Looking at all of it made me realize that somewhere along the way, I’ve built a network that seems to travel with me. And I don’t think that happened because I collected as many contacts as possible everywhere I went. If anything, I’ve learned the opposite. The relationships that survive distance are usually the ones that were actually relationships in the first place.

What Happens to Your Network When Your Geography Changes?

I am a Polish immigrant. I moved to the United States in 2015, and my life has moved around quite a bit since then. I’ve changed states, traveled frequently, built professional relationships in cities where I no longer live, and maintained friendships with people I cannot simply call and ask to meet me for coffee in twenty minutes. Living a somewhat digital-nomadic life, I had to learn that proximity and connection are two very different things.

I’ve had relationships with people who lived incredibly close to me that eventually disappeared, while others have survived thousands of miles and somehow feel more alive than ever. The same thing has happened professionally. When I move or travel, I want to meet new people wherever I am, but I don’t want to rebuild my entire network from zero either.

Thankfully, we live in a time when we can do both. I can attend a networking event in Fort Worth TX, and talk to someone across the country on Zoom the next day. We can belong to local communities and online ones, meet someone in person and continue that relationship digitally for years. Your address can change without your entire community changing with it, but there is one catch: you have to actually nurture it.

Networking Is Not the Same Thing as Collecting People

I network A LOT, and I genuinely enjoy it. But there was definitely a point when I had networking FOMO. If there were thirty people in the room, some part of my brain apparently decided I needed to speak to thirty people. The problem is that when you’re trying to talk to everyone, it becomes surprisingly difficult to really talk to anyone.

These days, I would much rather leave an event having had three meaningful conversations than carrying thirty business cards from people I barely remember. And while we’re here, there is one networking habit that drives me slightly crazy: you meet someone once, have a nice six-minute conversation, exchange information, and approximately eleven minutes later... congratulations, you’re on their sales list. ;)

There is nothing wrong with selling. I love sales, and businesses obviously need it. But relationships have stages. Someone you met yesterday is not the same as someone who has followed your work for two years, reads your newsletter every Monday or has repeatedly asked about your services. Being brave enough to ask for the sale matters. Knowing when not to ask matters even more. You are building relationships with actual humans, and humans tend to notice when they are being treated like leads.

Not Every Relationship Needs an ROI

Recently, someone I’ve known for a very long time started moving toward becoming a client. I did not maintain that relationship because I thought, “Excellent. Perhaps several years from now this person will become a lead.” That would be a quite terrifying way to make friends.

I kept talking to them because I cared about the relationship. Then circumstances changed, we happened to find ourselves in the same city, conversations happened, and there was something I could genuinely help with. Organically, a business opportunity appeared. Neither of us expected it.

I think we’re sometimes far too impatient with networking. We meet someone and immediately wonder what the relationship can produce: a lead, a referral, an introduction, a sale. Sometimes it will produce one of those things. Other times you walk into a networking meeting hoping for business and leave feeling less alone. You make a friend. You learn something. Or you simply have a wonderful conversation that makes your day.

That still counts.

Entrepreneurship Can Be Lonely, but Community Can Be Built

We hear a lot about entrepreneurial loneliness, and for good reason. Running a business can be lonely. You make decisions other people don’t necessarily understand, carry responsibilities that aren’t always visible, and sometimes something wonderful happens and there isn’t a coworker sitting three feet away who understands why you’re so excited.

But I don’t think loneliness has to be the permanent price of entrepreneurship. I belong to several communities myself, and they honestly couldn’t be more different. There’s Jet Set Sorority with the girls I traveled to Thailand with, my wonderfully businessy Team Referral Network, a weekly call with some of my favorite realtors, an international women’s community I recently joined, and Wine, Women & Wealth, which has traveled with me for years and where I’ll actually be speaking this Friday. Some are professional, some personal, some a little bit of both... and I cherish them for completely different reasons.

Not every room I walk into needs to bring me a client. Sometimes I’m there because I simply really like the people in it.

Sometimes You Have to Put Connection on the Calendar

I think we romanticize spontaneity a little when it comes to relationships. We tell ourselves that if we’re really close, we’ll naturally stay in touch. If a community matters, we’ll keep showing up. If we want to see someone, we’ll find the time. And then adulthood happens. Calendars fill, people move, businesses grow, families need us, time zones get involved, and the person you meant to call three weeks ago is still sitting somewhere in the back of your mind.

Sometimes you have to put connection on the calendar, and I don’t think that makes it any less genuine. When I’m going to be in the same city as someone I care about, I try to actually make plans instead of saying, “We HAVE to get together sometime!” for the next four years. When I meet someone professionally, I try to keep the relationship tangible too, whether that means sending a book, giving away a little speaker prize, inviting them to a social media collab or simply staying connected online.

Sunday Content Club is another version of that for me. Every Sunday, we have a recurring place to reconnect, work toward shared goals, talk content and actually CREATE together. I facilitate the community, but I benefit from that connection too.

So... do not shy away from mixing relationships and calendars. It works wonders for your business and your heart.

And Please Call Your Mom (Talking To Myself Too)

There is one thing I really don’t want us to lose in all of this talk about networking: not every connection in your life should have anything to do with business.

Please call your mom. Call your dad. Call your sister. Text the friend who couldn’t care less about your conversion rate. Remember somebody’s birthday. Congratulate them when something wonderful happens. Check on someone because they crossed your mind. Spend five minutes talking to somebody without wondering whether the conversation is productive.

Some relationships will bring you business. Some will bring opportunities or referrals. Some will bring absolutely nothing you could put into a spreadsheet... and some of those may be the most valuable relationships you have.

Build a Network, but Don’t Collect People

I believe wholeheartedly in networking. Show up locally, stay connected online, join communities that mean something to you, make introductions, remember people, follow up, be generous and, yes, be brave enough to eventually ask for business when the relationship and opportunity make sense.

Just don’t turn every person you meet into a potential transaction.

Your network should be able to travel with you because the relationships inside it are worth maintaining, not because you have accumulated an enormous contact list. People move, careers change, businesses evolve and life rearranges itself. Some relationships naturally end, while others surprise you by becoming stronger from thousands of miles away.

So yes, build your network and build your communities. Keep making room for new people wherever life takes you. Just remember that the goal is not to collect people. The goal is to create enough genuine connection in your life that when you open your calendar on Monday morning, you can look at all the faces you’re going to see that week and genuinely think, “Wow. I’m excited about this!”

And somewhere in between all of it... please don’t forget to call someone you love for absolutely no reason.